Ramblings of a 30 something, navigating her way through this crazy world.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Should I stay or Should I go?

That seems to always be the question...should I stay or should I go?  I ask that question all the time, regarding my job, my apartment, Greenville...South Carolina....it's always a gigantic billboard in the hamster wheel that is my brain.  Don't get me wrong...I LOVE the south, especially South Carolina, and even more special in my heart is the place I've called home my entire life...Greenville.  I've watched this city grow up, along with me, and I love walking downtown, or seeing the Blue Ride mtns on my drive to work.  It's a beautiful and majestic place.  However, there are some other cites that I have always loved, and most of those cities are in the great state of Tennessee.

When I was in the 4th grade, my entire family went to Nashville for our family vacation.  I can remember feeling like I was home, for lack of a better word, as soon as I stepped out of the car.  We went on a dinner cruise on the General Jackson and as soon as they started playing Rocky Top, I rushed to the stage and danced like a crazy woman.  Luckily, I was only 9, so I got a way with acting slightly insane and it coming across as cute. Over the years, I have travelled to many cities in the Volunteer state and have loved most of them.  I spent a lot of time in Chattanooga, working with the Glenn Draper Singers/Junaluska Singers, and recruiting students there while I was working at Converse. I loved wandering around downtown and walking over to Coolidge Park. It's a very artsy/fartsy city, nestled in the gorgeous valley of the mountains. There's also a period of my life where I spent almost all of my weekends in Knoxville, while dating a real live UT boy, who we lovingly refer to now as He Who Must not be named.  Even during that, I loved going down to the Old City and loved the summer I interned at Knox Opera.

Even after all of that, Nashville is still my favorite city in Tennessee, and probably my next favorite city after Greenville. It's one of the first cities I learned to navigate, sans map and Garmin.  The Whas-Whas prevails over the streets of Nashville! (my niece and nephew refer to me as Whassy, therefore Whas-Whas when I am rockin' my amazing sense of direction.)
I loved spending my falls wandering through the streets of Franklin and my annual visits to Battle Ground Academy, where I recruited my first student.  There's something so unbelievably vibrant about the city, but something that is so quintessentially southern.  What an amazing combination! 

I rant on and on about this because I can't help but think....sometimes I want to just pack it all up and move there.  Really with no plan at all...of course the city is pulsing with the greatest music, and how much I would love to be a part of that.  How, I feel most like myself when I'm singing and surrounding myself with music...but I don't know if that's where I should be.  Am I chasing after dreams that I should have lived 10 years ago, am I finally reaching out to the place where I need to be and where God wants me to be or am I just living with my head in the clouds....I'm not sure which one it is, but I'm definitely thinking about it. 

So...until then blogesphere...I remain in G-Vegas...enjoying this gloomy day at home, in my PJ's, catching up on the new fall shows on my DVR, while enjoying a mandatory work from home day. 

Until then --