Ramblings of a 30 something, navigating her way through this crazy world.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Here We go again...

Okay...so maybe I need to change the name of this blog...Fat No More Campaign is still in the beginning stages...after 2 years!! I am definitely still working on it. I'm trying to do a little at a time, this go 'round, so that I'm not setting myself up for failure. Also, I plan on doing every song on Just Dance 2 for the Wii until I have gotten 100% and all the gold star moves for each one! Surely that will result in some weight loss?!?! Here's hoping!

Though the FNM Blog/Campaign is not in full swing, I am going to use this blog to poor our some of my random thoughts. Because I have a lot of them, and sometimes Twitter just doesn't have enough space and Facebook has too many people reading my comments...especially those of the work nature,so I will share them here.

My ever-constant current frustration is my job. I almost feel like a broken record when it comes to this situation. Ive been working in the corporate world for just over 4 years, and I ABSOLUTELY can't stand it! I'm a total right brain, creative, random thinker. The mundane, assembly line-esque routine of this job drains me considerably. I thrive on ideas, planning, brain-storming, ever-changing routine, having a to-do list that gets left behind b/c something bigger and more important has come along. I salivate for days like that. However, here I sit, 4 years later, butt much flatter, my sciatic nerve much more irritated. I miss helping people...right now all I am really helping is the Food Industry, as shown in Food Inc. Watch it, it's entirely upsetting, and I help those companies do what they do.

I have tried finding other jobs within the company, with no such luck, and also tried going back to my roots in Higher Ed. Apparently, I'm too nice to be promoted in my current company *long story for another day* and I need my Master's to move up in the Higher Ed world. I would even take a pay cut! I'm willing to make less money to be happier, people!!! come on, help a girl out!

When I started at my current job, I was shell-chocked at how much I was going to be making, like jaw-dropping on the floor, bought a nicer camera *I was in Best Buy when I was offered the job* type of way. I was 24 yrs old and thought that I had finally arrived! I received a 41% pay increase. That's almost double what I was making before! I thought, "That's insane! I'm going to be living it up in G-vegas!" And for a while, I did. I loved having the extra money, but looking back, I can see how much of it I squandered. See...I'm an emotional spender and instead of saving all of that amazing new salary, I was spending it on crap to try and fill that void. I know now, too, that God is the only thing that can fill that void. Not a job/career, man, car, shoes, etc. So, 4 years later, I am definitely closer in my relationship with God, and not emotionally spending, which is great. But I still feel stuck in here, in some freaky real-life Office Space!

What doing about it - a LOT of praying and soul-searching. This is the first time in m life where I don't' see a clear path a head. I have some ideas of what I want to do or what may lie ahead, but I don't feel like God is saying, "That's the one!" And, maybe He's not supposed to, I'm struggling with that, too. So, here I sit, still not sure, but at least it's another day closer to being fully vested. Trying to look on the bright side :)

So...that's all I have to rant about today. I'll to get my thoughts a little more organized next time. And hopefully, in a better mood!