Becoming Myself

Full disclosure...this is my second attempt at Weight Watchers.  Last August, we started a Weight Watchers @ Work group, and it could not have come at a better time. You see, I have always been overweight, my entire life, and it is something that I have always struggled to control.  I had my gallbladder out in college, and ended up losing around 100 lbs over the course of a year.  It was pure ecstasy, but I didn't manage the results properly. I lived off of boiled eggs and about 14 Diet Cokes a day.  Needless to say, when I started eating "real" food again, my body flipped out, and along with a stint of rheumatic fever that left me almost immobile, the weight came back with a vengeance.

I digress..I do that a lot.  Like I said, I'm verbose :)

Back on track...

I was so excited to start WW at work, but then received a pretty disturbing text from a friend. Someone from church had approached her about having an intervention with me over my weight. In hindsight, I know that it came from a place of love, but the way it was handled had me immediately on the defensive, and employing my defense mechanism of not eating.  I call it fat girl anorexia.  I know that it is insensitive, but it's the best way to describe how I react. When I feel like life is spiraling out of control, or if I am stressed out, I just don't eat.  The stress of deciding what to eat is too much, so I just decide not to eat.  But I wouldn't allow my defense mechanism to kick in this time.

I went forward with WW and ended up losing 18 lbs.  We ended up having to disband, because we didn't have enough people to start a second session. I tried just doing the online for a while, but those old habits started creeping in, and with a looming health issue, I stopped eating.  Then I would only eat tortilla chips with melted cheese on top.  Super nutritious, right?!

After a few months of back and forth with my sister, we decided to go at this weight thing together, and chose WW.  I really think it will be helpful for the both of us, even though we have different issues with food.  The flexibility/personalized approach of WW will allow us both to be successful, even though our approaches might look different.

I had a small moment yesterday where I had the same knee jerk reaction to sabotaging myself. I had a friend email a link to a book/self study that she had just finished.  As I was reading the synopsis, I felt a little bit attacked, because the main premise is about weight loss, or at least at first glance.  But I checked myself and my reaction, and decided to give it a try.  The book is;

Becoming Myself: Embracing God's Dream of You

I started reading the first chapter last night, and this book could not have come at a better time.  

I encourage you to read it, or at least try the sample on Kindle or Nook. 

I'll give an update on my progress as I read, then I'm going to start on the Study Guide once I finish. 

Happy Hump Day Everyone!

Until next time...

Whassy 

Two Days In...

Two days in...and life has already tried to throw me off track.  Funny how life is like that, right?

Work is extremely stressful right now and I normally handle stress ok, but lately it has been taking me over.  Like I'm a character in a Warner Brothers Cartoon, waiting for someone to drop an Acme Anvil on me.  This just looming threat of foreboding. My apologies...I'm verbose and I appreciate SAT words.

So yesterday was a Monday...obviously, and I was prepared.  All of my food was prepped for the day, and I had a plan.  I stayed on track right up until the afternoon.  I left work after an upsetting meeting, headed to the doctor.  The office worked me in during the late afternoon, so I ended up waiting a while to go back to the doctor.  To help kill time, I pulled my phone out and started looking at emails from work. That was a bad idea.  Like I said above, my anxiety level is at an all time high, and by the time I went back to consult with the doctor, I was in a full blown panic attack.  My blood pressure was 158/100.  Luckily, the nurse knew what to expect and helped calm me down and my doctor did a great job of helping formulate a plan to deal with the anxiety. Oh, and give me antibiotics for an ear infection.

It had been such a difficult afternoon, the last thing I wanted to do was go home and "cook," even though all I really had to do was assemble the food. It was already cooked, and ready to go.  So...I went to the local Mexican restaurant and went all out.  Luckily, I still had 30 points left for the day, but it still wasn't the best way to react.

But I rallied and prepped for the next day and morning, despite coming off of the panic attack and a double ear infection. 

Moral of the story...life happens, but it doesn't have to derail you.  

Until next time...

Whassy

Hello Again, Blog World.

Blog World...are you still out there? It's me, Whassy. I am back from hiatus...again.  My last post was in December of 2013, promising an amazing 2014.  Though I might not classify it as amazing, it was definitely filled with a lot of changes. 

My parents' divorce was finalized. 
I bought a house. 
One month later...my company announced it is moving to Charlotte. 
I freaked out. 
I got on board with the move. 
I freaked out. 
I decided not to move. 
I started to mend my relationship with my mom.
I stopped singing on the worship team at church.
I switched campuses at aforementioned church. 
It turned out to be an amazing decision. 
I started Weight Watchers. 

2014...there were definitely moments that were amazing, and there were moments that we absolutely terrifying.  In retrospect, I am thankful for the trials of 2014.  They have brought me to where I am today, and so far, 2015 is definitely a year of change and growth.

Tomorrow, my sister and I are going to start Weight Watchers together.  I am going to use this blog to chronicle that journey for the both of us. Holly is going to track her progress on Instagram, and I'll take on the roll of verbose sister, and chronicle the journey in words, and of course, a few pictures as well.  What good is a weight loss journey without some pictures?!

This picture is a favorite of mine, regardless of the fact that I am the largest in the picture.  This is from my 10 year college reunion, with my two best friends, Kate and Quinn.  Kate is 8 months pregnant in the picture and Quinn had just had her 3rd child 2 months earlier.  I, however, am not pregnant, nor have I ever been, and I'm still the largest in the picture...no me gusta. 

This picture is from my senior year of college.  I am wearing a size 14 long and lean jeans from The Gap.  I was neither long, nor lean, but I was definitely small, at least for me. This is my goal.  I am not meant to be a size 6.  I want to be healthy.  This is our goal. 

Stay tuned blog world for more updates on the Twisted Sisters' journey to a healthy life style. 
Once the sister gives the okay...I'll add some photos of her, too. 

Until next time...

Whassy

Christmas Blessings

So, this has been a rough year...hence the blog silence. I've wanted to escape here to let it all out, but, due to the situation, that would have been in pour taste. Hopefully, as this year comes to an end, I can take to the blog about this past year, in a healthier, more cathartic way.

Descending from soapbox...

Due to the aforementioned crap-tastic year, I was sullen and not looking forward to this holiday season.  I loathe change, and Thanksgiving/Christmas was going to look like nothing I've ever experienced before. Being the bratty youngest child that I am, I was most upset about no gifts from my parents this year. I know, that is completely shallow, and I am fully aware.  I spent most of the last 2 months complaining about that fact, and my gracious friends and awesome sister listened without slapping me across the face.  That is a true Christmas Miracle.

Among my ranting, the two items I most wanted for Christmas this year, other than a time machine, were a Michael Kors watch and a Le Creuset tea kettle.  My amazing friend Liz, and my incredible sister Holly somehow knew this and together, made it happen.  I burst into tears both times I opened the gifts, overwhelmed by their generosity, especially in light of my extreme selfishness. I began feeling guilty about my ranting, especially because presents are definitely not the reason for the season.

All that to say, I am grateful for the community and mish mosh family I have surrounding me in the craziness that has been this year.  I do not know how I could have survived the last 8 months without them. Family is not always the cookie cutter examples we see in our pop culture, but something that is organically made throughout years of doing life together.  I am grateful for my real family and our crazy mish mosh one, too.

Looking forward to a much better 2014, because seriously...it cannot go anywhere but up from here.

Until next time...


Whassy

Coming Soon!

So, my sister and I have had quite the upbringing and with time, it only seems to get more interesting. We've talked for years about putting our stories down on paper, and we've finally decided to start working on them.

We've created a blog to share these outrageous, but oh so true, stories of life.  Be sure to add the new blog to your reading list.  All 2 of you that read it :)

Tales of Two Twisted Sisters

No entries on there for now, but rest assured, we are working on them.

Enjoy the ride!

Until then -
Whassy

Google Reader going bye bye

Shout out to Blog Lovin' for having the absolute easiest way to move my Google Reader list that I have found yet!  Literally, it only took one click of a button!  Go check them out and get your Reader list transfered before July 1.

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

more later, but until then -

Love -

Whassy

Coleslaw - the new way to dye easter eggs!

Hello blog world! It's been a while! I have so many things to update on but I only have a few minutes to blog before I head to a work happy hour thing. And the title, it will make sense in a second.

For your laughing/reading pleasure, some random thoughts from my crazy head:

• My work computer makes crazy sounds sometimes, and it kind of sounds like a Transformer, in particular, this transformer. Yes, I know it's weird that I know their different sounds, but I do. If you know me and you're reading this, it should be no surprise.  If you don't know me and you're reading this...I'm weird, and I love all things nerdy.
• I was approached about applying for another job.  I'm still on the fence about even looking into it, because yesterday I realized that I actually enjoy my job.  I'm great at it, and the people are great.  I just get frustrated sometimes, and I know that would be the case any where.
• Lately, I've been honing in on my own style.  For a plus size girl, it's hard to find stuff that isn't either slutty or old lady.  However, I had a thought yesterday that it might be coming off less "cool" and a little more "Feed the Birds" lady.  Strangely enough, I'm ok with that.  I'm dressing how I want to, so take that world!
• Funny story from my mom's birthday dinner last night.  We had some good ole Henry's BBQ.  My sister made the cake and baked beans, and I volunteered for the coleslaw.  I usually like mine a little more on the vinegar side, but I've been battling cold/allergy issues for months,and it's been particularly bad this week.  With that, my taste buds are a little off...therefore, I added a wee bit too much vinegar to my coleslaw.  I thought it tasted great, but alas, the rest of the fam did not.  So much so that my sister mocked me by saying you could dye Easter Eggs in it...sad but true.

Enjoy the antics.  I'll be back more regularly soon enough.

Until then ---

Whassy